Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Levi became ill with a horrible cough on Sunday night and fever. No fever felt better Monday morning so i sent him to his very last day of school only to have him sent home sicker an hour later. Rushed him to the Doctor and had Xrays done. Diagnosis.... Pneumonia in Left lung, bad allergic reaction with a HUGE lump behind his left ear and several bug bites. ( no clue where they came from). He has them on his head every where. His asthma is definitely flared up Came home on Steroids, antibiotics, 2 different nebs rotating every 4 hours. Nice for me ha vent had much sleep. Today is Wednesday and Lump is still there behind his ear he gets so winded if he even tries to run and play, no fever, cough is about half, sleeping through the night once again YEAH for that one.

I have been so wishy washy the past few weeks. I had to have all the fluid taken out of my lap band 3 weeks ago due to a minor band slip hugely had heartburn and getting stuck with everything i eat. Well they take the fluid out and walla i can eat again but still have major heartburn. I have been eating non stop i think. I wasn't able to eat right for so long i have been eating everything in sight and have gained 5 pounds. Now the thing is i go back in Tuesday next week to start getting fluid back in and if it hasn't resolved probably have to have it removed etc etc. I fear having it taken out even thought i ha vent had much luck in 3 years and have been the worst bandster ever. I was contemplating putting my appointment off a few weeks more to see if it gets better.

Oh lord have i been having depression bouts. Jerry is here all he does is eat, sleep, scream and cuss, and nothing at all. I'm so tired of all the crap from him. My unemployment ended this week which is bad bad bad. Was suppose to have another 60 days but nope they decided no extension for me. I have had terrible moody swings from happy to angry to frustrated to anxious in the extreme past few months and its not getting any better.

Jonathon graduates kindergarten Friday WOW with cap and gown ceremony and all. He has worked so hard these past few months to pass it since it is his second year and he has been through hell. HE DID IT.. I cant be more proud and I'm making a big deal of it with cake, decorations, a BBQ and all. Its a huge accomplishment for him.

On a lighter Note i made the most delicious carrott cake last night from scratch. Wont last long in my house im sure of it.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Terrible Thursday

Today has not been a good day thus far. My Birthday! Levi got up at 430 am sneaking around the kitchen trying to get in to whatever he can. I picked him up put him back in bed screaming and crying told him back to sleep and closed the door. I myself just laid on the couch and soon enough i heard B***H this and B***H that form jonathon's mouth. All morning it has been nothing but cussing screaming fighting from both of them. I finally just sat there crying and sobbing because i just cant handle when they do this kind of stuff. Jonathon wasnt actually suppose to go to school but the dr said i could use my discreation and well after 2 hours of that non sense this morning they both finally got dressed and i took them both to school. Took them in Jonathon had pockets full of cars and i got them thrown at my head but got them and he refused to eat breakfast so fine took him to his classroom and i sat with Levi while he ate breakfast and got him to his classroom. Now i think i can breath for a few seconds.
PS Not to mention Jerry is here and i had woke him up 3-4 times to please come help me get the kids ready and he got up peed went back to bed where he still is snoring away.
What a way to start My Birthday Off.... Mothers day wasnt much better. But why oh why would i or should i expect much more than that. Besides my facebook friends no one says happy birthday does anything nice or even calls. My grandma sent me an e-card which made my morning.
I just realized im 33 and have accomplished nothing in life. My kids act out so much and act as if they hate me and each other i dont even know which way is up anymore half the time. My husband is ungreatfull and acts juts as bad. Hes been gone 10 months and yes i let him come here for the summer and its been 6 days and i CANT STAND him i have come to realize and he wont help with kids, cook, clean, OK he did pick up the living room yesterday while i was at the hospital with Jonathon but still. He has no respect and all he has done since he has been here is sleep eat and yell and scream. UGH UGH UGH what will i do. I wantso bad to just get up and go move far far away but then i thik the way my kids act i wouldnt want to be seen by any of my friends and have them see how terribly i have raised my children and how not in control i am.
I have so much homework to catch up on to be able to pass my classes and not get thrown out of school im frustrated. Not to mention i run out of unemployment next week and no job wow what a shocker.. I have done everything possible to get a job had 2 job offers but oh wait we cnat hire you until you get your felony set aside form the state which i have done time and time again so i wait two months get the paperwork she says fax it to me i did 3 weeks ago have emailed 5 times called twice and wont return either and is always busy guess that job not gonna happen.... WOW this first post turned out to be very long. and Life Goes ON!!!!!!!